Some of my post come from very specific experiences or conversations. This specific post stemmed from the heart of a friend who spoke words into my life that I needed to hear.
God has started to release some future assignments into my life for the upcoming seasons and if I'm honest I feel completely inadequate. I instantly started making excuses which were filled with my own insecurities and self doubt.
After sending a sermon to my friend about a topic she and I had previously discussed, she spoke something over me that was so confirming and inline with what God had been releasing. When I expressed my doubts and insecurities to her, she told me, "Don't think like adult Gwen, think like little kid Gwen." This really hit me, because let's be honest I can be a control freak sometimes. This went right in line with my Jesus calling word of the day which said "When you project yourself into the future, rehearsing what you will do or say, you are seeking to be self-sufficient: to be adequate without My help. This is a subtle sin."
In Matthew chapter 18 Jesus tells us to become like little children. As i studied this chapter, I really tried to understand this perspective. At first, it kind of felt a little contradicting from other passages that I had read about maturing in our faith and turning away from drinking milk as babes do. But as I read through commentaries and further into the chapter, God began to reveal His heart on the subject to me.
What are the characteristics of a child? One is they believe beyond barriers. They have no doubt that they can do something. They aren't tarnished by failures or life's difficulties and struggles. Secondly they are completely reliant on a parent. If we could learn to first believe as a child does and second rely on God as our children rely on us, then we will have the freedom to know that our vulnerability is not a weakness but an opportunity for God's strength to prevail (2 Cor. 12:9-10).
We know that the Bible tells us that God is in the business of using the most unqualified to do His work. More importantly He qualifies the unqualified.
Hebrews says this:
may He equip you with all you need for doing His will. May He produce in you, through the power of Jesus Christ, every good thing that is pleasing to Him. All glory to Him forever and ever! Amen. (13:21)
When God calls on us to do something that's within His will, it's an opportunity for Him to be God. The bigger, the scarier, the more far stretched, the better for Him. Those are the opportunities that bring Him the most glory. The more we can see that there's no way we could manage without Him, the more we have to rely on His all sufficient power to make it happen.
There's a song I'm obsessed with right now by Passion worship called "Bigger Than I Thought". My favorite line in the song says "I will stop all negotiations with the God of all creation." That is so me. I'm notorious for negotiating with God. I'm constantly asking Him why or why not. I definitely am that rebellious teen who is constantly challenging every decision placed before me. I imagine Him just shaking His head at me and saying "because I said so". I know I'm not the only one who's debated with God before (stupidly of course), but I'm also not the only one who's felt insecure about a job assignment from the Lord. Maybe not you, but what about a few well known mighty men of God who questioned His authority and/or assignment.
What about when God had to reprimand Job like a gangsta for talking back:
Then the Lord answered Job from the whirlwind: “Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorant words? Brace yourself like a man, because I have some questions for you, and you must answer them. “Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Tell me, if you know so much. (Job 38:1-4)
Or What about Jonah, God sent the storm and a giant fish to eat him up till he was ready to be obedient.
Now let's not be mistaken, God is also kind and loving and as mentioned before He helps us to do what He calls us to do. Look at His conversation with Moses in Exodus 4:10-12.
Moses pleaded with the Lord, “O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled.”Then the Lord asked Moses, “Who makes a person’s mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say.”
Now we know that God felt bad for Moses in his insecurity and sent Aaron to speak on his behalf, but He also changed Moses's reality. Acts 7 says this about Moses.
Moses was taught all the wisdom of the Egyptians, and he was powerful in both speech and action.
Wait what???? I thought Moses had a speech impediment. I thought he said he got tongue tied and couldn't speak well. You know who thought that??? Moses. Moses was the author of Exodus therefore he said that about himself. He wrote his own words and conversation with God documenting his fear and insecurity. But God chose Him, God validated Him and helped him to succeed within His will. That's who our God is. He is faithful and He is constantly helping us.
This isn't the first time that I've entered into a new season with fear. When I started this Blog, I waited two years after God gave me the direction to act on it. I still feel insecure about writing it, especially since I'm not marketing it and there's only like 5 of you who consistently read it. But I just want to be obedient. I think back to when I was starting and I remember two specific verses in Luke that really helped me.
The first is Luke 12:12
for the Holy Spirit will teach you at that time what needs to be said.
and if you're worried about not being accepted, Luke 21:15 says;
for I will give you the right words and such wisdom that none of your opponents will be able to reply or refute you!
Let's stop negotiating with God. Let's stop making up excuses for our insecurity. When we get out of the way and let God work through us, we have nothing to be insecure about anyway. He will give us the message and the revelation, we just have to be obedient (Gal 1:12).
I leave you with this:
The Lord replied, “Don’t say, ‘I’m too young,’ for you must go wherever I send you and say whatever I tell you. And don’t be afraid of the people, for I will be with you and will protect you. I, the Lord, have spoken!” Then the Lord reached out and touched my mouth and said,“Look, I have put my words in your mouth! Jeremiah 1:7-9
