The last few weeks, I have found myself feeling exhausted. I know that many experience this this time of year as many are hustling trying to get all their last minute Christmas shopping complete or are business owners who are trying to wrap up any end of the year paperwork or invoices.
However; none of that applies to me. I really have no excuse for feeling the way I have been. But I'll tell you that I sure did spend my Christmas afternoon taking a 5 hour nap. Yes 5 hours. I think I had just felt some stress that I hadn't realized I had been carrying that finally caught up with me.
The week prior I had a pretty dramatic breakdown as I had chosen to focus on God's unanswered promises instead of looking around and seeing how truly blessed I am.
I kind of felt like a fish being lured by bait. At first, I didn't realize it was bait as I bit into it. But as soon as I tasted it and my emotions took hold, I knew I needed to flee, but for some reason I chose to sit in it.
In my situation I chose to take my focus off of Father and all that He had been doing. Knowing very well that our perspective matters and what we choose to focus on makes a difference, I stayed right in that moment.
I was reminded in my weekly Bible study group that this is kind of a pattern for me. I can some times be a Martha instead of a Mary. Ok ok, not just some times, but a lot of the time. Jesus told her, "Martha you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed and Mary has chosen that..." (Luke 10:41-42).
When we take our eyes off God and worry about the wrong thing, it's easy for us to lose hope, fall into depression or just plain lose focus of all that He has done for us. How exhausting that explained a lot of what I was feeling.
I had a unique eye opening experience a few years ago in one of my dance classes. In these classes, we challenge women to experience all that God has for us through movement. In one of the exercises we ask the class to close their eyes and imagine themselves sitting in the palm of God's hand. The point is to release everything and surrender to Him. To fully rest in His presence. It's generally a very peaceful experience. However your girl Martha'd it up on this particular day.
As I lay their with my eyes closed, imagining myself in His hand, I started asking well how would He rest His hand? Would it be sitting on His lap? or maybe it would be up in the air so He could see me closer? Would He need to reposition it? On and on my mind went in this endless restless thought cycle until finally God said, "ENOUGH!"
Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
God isn't like us, He doesn't need to reposition Himself because He's God. It's always us that need to be repositioned when we misstep with God. He's patient and waits for us never growing tired or weary.
I think this has been what's exhausted me so much here at the end of this year. I've gotten a little caught up with the works of God, doing all the things, but forgetting to focus on Him and allow Him to restore me. Isaiah 40:31 tells us that when our hope is in Him, He will renew us and give us strength. When I had my meltdown last week, I had removed my Hope from His hands and felt doubt. I had allowed my faith in Him to sway.
This afternoon as I was reading through Hebrews, I was reminded that God has prepared a place of rest for each of us who chooses to put our faith in Him and obey Him. His rest just as He rested when His work was complete.
So there is a special rest. Or a Sabbath rest. still waiting for the people of God. For all who have entered into God’s rest have rested from their labors, just as God did after creating the world. So let us do our best to enter that rest...
Find some time in the next couple days to Be Still in His presence. We don't have to do all the things to find acceptance from Him. If you remember, In Genesis, after God had created all, He said that, "It was very good." It wasn't man's work or labor in the garden that pleased God, but rather their existence in His presence that pleased Himself. Following this pleasure came rest.
So let's do that, let's enter into God's rest!
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28)-Jesus
My prayer for 2021 is that we all seek to remain in the Father's presence and find rest in Him. I pray that we don't wait till we're at the point of exhaustion to check in with Him, but rather abide in Him and remain close to the vine.
If you related to this post, you may also like one of these past posts as well.